1. A spy is impersonating you for a while, give them instructions
-Do not let your emotions show (you are strong and no one can tell you different)
-Rmember to wear your active wear even when you’re not going to gym (we pretend sometimes)
-Feed my boyfriend and tell him hes the best
-Always answer moms calls because she gets really worried
-be bitchy sometimes because if you’re nice they will become supiscious
-Be nice to Siobhan because she’s cool
-You better brush up on your makeup skills because mine are always on point and if those eyebrows don’t look good then you’re screwed
-give yourself some love every now and again because you deserve it
EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN TYPE OF SPY – APPLY TO MAKEUP BRAND
3. First report to mother after landing in a teenage boys bedroom
I have made a pathway through the mountain of clothes by the entrance and have secured a safe spot by the window. To my right there is one crusty sock which can be describe as your son’s ‘special’ sock, a bowl of rancid cereal and vomit in desk drawer. To my left there is a stash of pornography magazines, a stick of dynamite and a pile of used tissues. Its safe to say that I need rescuing.
Rules for time-travelling
-we are nothing
-time is nothing
-there are different realities
-real does not exist
-who knows if this writing is real
- -we are all going to die
- -most importantly just have fun
5. You are a tourist in a country where you don’t know the language on a locals only beach. Talk yourself out of a mugging using only surfer slang and sea turtle metaphors.
“Duuuuude lets all just chill like the sea turtles of the oceans milky way, no need to act like a grom lets just catch some gnarly waves and be sweet mates like the sea turtles. Everyone goes through the barrels of life just like sea turtles have to cross the sand to reach the shore. We all just need chilled vibes bru.